I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough. Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual.Try Googling images of 50-year-olds and 70-year-olds and see how many more of these lines the latter group has.They will never trust him if he’s 10-plus years your senior, no matter what he does to gain their approval along the way.This may not be the case, but whether it is or not, taking on daily public scrutiny like this is no picnic.It will happen a whole lot earlier for him than it will for you, so you’ll get jealous of his increased free time while he’ll start demanding more of your attention to fill up his long, empty hours, even though you’re still an occupied professional.Though this list may sound like it’s targeted toward young ladies seriously contemplating shacking up with a significantly older man (because it partially is), it’s also for those men who believe proposing to someone in her 20s as they approach 50 is a grand idea.You guys should consider what it will be like for a much younger lady to age by your side as you really age.
In their defense, I hardly grew up dating or crushing on men close to my age group.George Clooney and his new wife, Amal Alamuddin, are the talk of the town.But, it's not all good things, as there's also talk about their “bizarre” age gap: him 53, her 36.Eventually, we arranged to meet at a cafe near my apartment.At the meeting, we spent over an hour discussing his writing.